Reaching for the Moon
by takaondo
Summary: I am really a tramp down to my bones. I hate myself. I bark at the moon, but I don't have the courage to jump and grab it. Now that I have the courage, I'm going to jump without any regrets. IchiRuki, One-sided RenRuki


**Disclaimer:** BLEACH belongs to Tite Kubo and Shiueisha Publishings.

**Author Note: **N/A

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"_Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star." - W. Clement Stone_

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_**Reaching for the Moon

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A dark silhouette jumped into the night sky, eclipsing the light of the full moon. Soundlessly, the figure fell back downward towards the Earth.

It was Kurosaki Ichigo.

Even with a gigantic wrapped sword on his backside, he moved gracefully through the night, flash stepping between the rooftops of Karakura skillfully and taking long leaps into the air to cross large gaps between buildings. In no time at all, he landed back onto the place where he called home, the Kurosaki Clinic.

Wordlessly, he quickly turned to the other presence on the roof. Abarai Renji grinned as he held up a hand to greet him.

"Yo, Ichigo." Renji said brightly. "I'm surprised you came back from patrolling already."

"Only because I felt your reiatsu." Ichigo replied. "What are you doing here?"

Renji's grin quickly disappeared from his face.

"Mind if we talk?" Renji asked in a serious tone. "It's about Rukia."

Ichigo stared at him quietly without answering. Renji stared back, trying to discern his silence. The expression on his face was unreadable and stony, but something told Renji that Ichigo wasn't exactly happy that he was visiting.

"Ah." Ichigo replied.

He walked forward, stopping briefly as his eyes caught sight of a large white flask at Renji's side. It was a ceramic tokkuri.

"That is...?" Ichigo asked as he pointed at it.

"Sake." Renji said as he pulled out a small cup, pouring a small portion into it from the flask. He held it out towards Ichigo. "Here, drink some."

"No thanks!" Ichigo said as he crossed his arms into a large 'x.' "I'm still underage you know!"

"Che. Sissy." Renji replied mockingly.

Ichigo's expression lit up angrily and he snatched the cup away from Renji's hand. Taking a seat down next to him, Ichigo stared at the cup for a moment before he finally took a quick swig. Renji watched in amusement as Ichigo's scowl deepened from his distaste. He quickly put the cup down afterward, determined not to drink another drop.

Renji looked at his own cup, which was still filled to the brim. His sullen expression was reflected in the liquid.

Then he started to speak.

"Rukia and I go way back. We've been through everything together. I've always liked her, loved her even. But I never told her because I was afraid of losing her. Even when I gave up our friendship so she could be adopted, my feelings for her didn't change."

He smiled lightly.

"So now that everything was over, I thought it was time to move forward with my life. I wanted more than what we had, and now that everything were good between us again, I finally gathered the courage to take that step forward."

Renji hesitated a moment before he continued.

"I asked her to marry me."

Renji glanced cautiously over at Ichigo and was surprised at his lack of a response. He was expecting shock, or maybe even anger, but Ichigo showed him neither.

"You don't look too surprised." Renji added.

"Because Rukia already told me." Ichigo replied quietly. "Just a few days ago."

...

It was homework time for both Kuchiki Rukia and Kurosaki Ichigo. Sounds of pencil writing and the fluttering of book pages filled the room as they worked. Rukia was kneeling on his bed, reading her text book diligently as she slowly flipped through its pages. At the desk at the side of the bed sat Ichigo, his attention focused on the paper he was writing on.

"Ichigo." Rukia said without looking up at him. "Do you have someone you like?"

Ichigo's pencil stopped moving, and he twisted his head towards her.

"What?" Ichigo asked as though he didn't hear the question correctly.

"I just wanted to know if you've ever been in love." Rukia asked off-handedly.

"I..." Ichigo stuttered. His eyebrows furrowed in irritation, and he turned back to his homework with a huff. "That's none of your business!"

Rukia paused for a moment before she answered.

"I see."

Rukia's quiet tone troubled Ichigo, and he glanced at her from over his shoulder. She had begun to read her book again and her face was just as impassive as before. However, he knew something was troubling her. He looked down guiltily as though he felt it was his fault, and he scratched his head awkwardly before he turned to her with a slight scowl.

"What's with the weird questions anyways?" Ichigo asked in frustration. "Is something going on?"

Rukia paused again.

"Renji asked me to marry him." Rukia said without looking up at him.

Ichigo froze and his eyes slowly widened.

"What...?" He asked quietly; the words had come out like a whisper.

Rukia slowly looked up at him and for the first time since they had spoken, their eyes met. Time seemed to slow as they stared at one another, and for a few moments, neither of them spoke.

"Do you have anything to say to me?" Rukia asked.

Ichigo's mouth fell open, and it moved slightly as though he was trying to say something, but in the end, he remained silent. He quickly turned away from her to hide his troubled expression.

"No. Nothing at all." He replied firmly.

Rukia stared at him quietly and a hint of sadness flickered across her features.

"What's with that expression?" Ichigo said without looking at her. "It's not like you have to ask for my permission or anything."

Rukia smiled lightly at him before she turned back to her book, but it quickly disappeared as fast as it had come.

"Ah, you're right." She replied.

And then, for the longest time, there were no longer sounds of pencil writing, nor were there sounds of fluttering book pages.

There was only silence.

...

Ichigo fell silent after he told Renji what had happened between him and Rukia. Renji contemplated on his story with a stony expression as he continued to stare at his sake filled cup. Feeling as though he didn't want to drink it anymore, he put it down.

"Why didn't you say anything to her?" Renji asked quietly.

Ichigo's expression fell, and he remained quiet as though he didn't know the answer himself.

"Ichigo..." Renji said as he turned to Ichigo. "You love Rukia, don't you?"

Ichigo's eyes widened at his comment.

"I..." He started. His eyes narrowed when he couldn't say anything.

Just like when she had left that day.

...

It was sunset in Karakura Town. The orange rays of the retreating sun shone into Ichigo's small room.

Rukia was getting ready to leave. As she walked through Ichigo's room, she cast a long shadow that fell over Ichigo as he continued to work at his desk. She took off her shoes before stepped onto his bed to open the window. After picking them up, she sat on the window sill to put them back on.

"I'm going to head back now." She said as she turned to leave.

"Rukia." Ichigo suddenly spoke up. Rukia glanced at him. "I..."

He didn't turn towards her, so she couldn't see the frustrated expression on his face. He opened his mouth as to say something, but found he couldn't say what he had wanted to.

"Have you given him an answer yet?" He asked.

"No, not yet." She replied softly.

"I see..." Ichigo said quietly.

Rukia turned away from him to hide her troubled expression from view.

"See you then, Ichigo." She said. "Good-bye."

Then she left without another word.

After Rukia was gone, Ichigo turned towards the open window. A slight breeze blew in, and his curtains brushed across the empty, open space. Her final words echoed in his thoughts as though it was carried in by the breeze itself.

"_Good-bye."_

And he remained silent and still, staring at the spot where Rukia had been just a few moments before.

...

The memory faded and Ichigo's eyes clenched shut at the emotions that ran through him. Renji looked at him understandingly; even though Ichigo didn't say anything to him, he could see the pain that he was trying to hold back.

"It doesn't matter anymore." Ichigo muttered. "You two already are -"

"She rejected me." Renji interrupted.

Ichigo's eyes snapped open and he turned to Renji with surprise.

"She what...?" He muttered.

"She rejected me." Renji repeated. "Just today."

...

Renji was surprised when Rukia bowed her head formally to him. He suddenly understood why she had wanted to see him, and why she had called him out to meet her. She was finally going to give him the answer that he had been waiting for days for.

"I'm sorry." Rukia said quietly. "I can't accept your proposal."

She raised her head so they could see eye to eye.

"I really thought hard about it. You and I have known each other since childhood. The way you and I felt about one another..."A small smile made its way onto her face. "It was one of the closest things I've ever known to love."

Rukia looked down guiltily before she continued.

"I'm sorry it took so long to answer. I was afraid that if I refused your proposal, things couldn't stay the way they were. I was afraid things would go back to the time when I was taken in by Nii-sama."

"That won't happen." Renji said quickly.

"I know that now." Rukia said. She looked at him solemnly. "You're no longer the same stray from the outskirts of Rukongai who'd run away with his tail between his legs. You've become someone strong. You've become a man who's no longer scared to do what he thinks is right."

She smiled lightheartedly at him.

"Isn't that right, Abarai-fukutaichou?" She said playfully.

Renji stared at her and his features softened. He shut his eyes as he felt the pain of rejection, but at the same time, he felt elated that he had finally received an answer. After breathing out a long, deep breath to collect his thoughts, he opened his eyes to look at her.

And he grinned at her brightly.

"Ah, that's right!" Renji said proudly.

She nodded at him contentedly, and she bowed once more in apology.

"Sorry, Renji."

...

Renji stared upward at the full-moon as the memory passed back into the recesses of his mind. Ichigo had listened to his story quietly, and was looking at the street below thoughtfully.

"Back then, I was really a tramp down to my bones. I hated myself. I always barked at the moon, but I never had the courage to jump and grab it." Renji said quietly. "In the end, even though I was rejected, I was both relieved and happy. I can live and move forward without any regrets."

He smiled nostalgically.

"Because I finally got the courage to tell her how I felt."

Ichigo glanced at him impassively for a few moments before he turned away with a scowl.

"Idiot." He said with irritation in his tone. "You know I'm not the type to give you words of sympathy, or the type to give you advice on situations like these."

"I know that." Renji said.

"Then why are you telling me all this in the first place?" Ichigo asked.

Renji grinned at him before he turned back to look at the moon.

...

"It was one of the closest things I've ever known to love, huh?" Renji said as he looked away thoughtfully. "Rukia..."

He turned to her.

"Do you already have someone you like?"

Rukia had hesitated to answer for a moment, but she looked determinedly back at him as she replied.

"Ah. I do." She said.

"It's Ichigo, isn't it?" Renji said.

She stared at him with slight shock, but quickly hid it with a disapproving frown.

"That's -"

"Your face says it all, you know." Renji said in amusement. She scowled at his attempt to tease her.

"Don't be ridiculous -" Rukia added hastily.

"That idiot loves you, Rukia." Renji said firmly. She looked at him speechlessly. "I know that because when I look at him, I can see a bit of myself. That's probably why he ticks me off half the time, you know? So maybe, just like me..."

He looked at her confidently, grinning lightly as he said his final words.

"All he needs is the courage to tell you his feelings."

Rukia's expression momentarily lit up with surprise at his statement. She quickly turned away with a small frown. Renji's head shifted slightly as he observed her, and his eyes widened at what he saw. It was the faintest tinge of pink upon her cheeks.

"Oh!" Renji yelled in amazement as he pointed at her. "You're blushing! You're actually blushing!"

Her face quickly reddened as she turned to him with an angry scowl.

"Shut up!" She yelled.

Renji grunted in pain as her fist connected with his jaw.

...

Renji rubbed his jaw subconsciously as though she had just hit him like she did in his memory. He turned to Ichigo, who was still waiting for an answer, and smirked lightly at him.

"Hmm..." Renji said. "I wonder…"

Ichigo scowled at his vague answer, and gave a slightly exasperated sigh as he turned away. Staring ahead, he reflected silently on what they had spoken about and Renji's final statement echoed in his thoughts.

"_Because I finally got the courage to tell her how I felt."_

And his eyes softened at its meaning.

"Thanks, Renji." He said without turning to him.

"For what?" Renji asked in confusion.

Ichigo looked up towards the full-moon.

"I wonder…" He said quietly, mirroring Renji's reply.

...

Later that night, Renji had returned to Soul Society and Ichigo was left alone with his thoughts. He sat there for a longest time; he was waiting patiently for something. Soon enough, a new figure eclipsed the moon before landing on the rooftop, just a few feet away behind him.

It was Kuchiki Rukia. She turned to him curiously, wondering why he was sitting there.

"So you're finally back, Rukia." Ichigo said without turning to acknowledge her.

"Ichigo...?" Rukia said uncertainly. Her eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Is something wrong?"

"I was waiting for you." Ichigo answered briefly. "That's all."

Frowning lightly at his odd behavior, Rukia slowly stepped towards Ichigo before sitting down closely beside him. Neither of them could look at one another, and for a while, they sat together in total silence.

"About Renji..." Rukia said suddenly, breaking the silence. "I rejected his proposal."

"Ah, I know." Ichigo replied. "He told me already."

Rukia's eyes widened and she looked down in discomfort.

"Did he tell you anything else?" She asked.

"No. He didn't."

Silence fell between them again.

"Ichigo." Rukia started quietly. "Are you angry with me?"

"What kind of question is that? Why would I be?" Ichigo replied in a slightly insulted tone.

"You won't look at me." Rukia replied almost childishly.

Ichigo couldn't help but smile lightly at both her response and his own feelings that moment. He looked down briefly, and the expression quickly disappeared off his face.

"I'm afraid that if I look at you, I won't be able to say what I want to say." He said quietly.

"What do you mean by that?" Rukia asked in confusion as she looked up at him.

A hint of apprehension flickered across his features as he shifted his gaze to her.

"Rukia, do you remember when we were talking back then?" Ichigo asked. Rukia looked at him curiously. "You had asked me if I had anyone I liked."

Rukia's face lit up with surprise, and for a moment, Ichigo looked away again. Disappointed by his own lack of nerves, he scowled, but soon he was able to gradually regain his composure again. With his resolve renewed, he turned back to her with an expression of determination.

And finally, for the first time that night, their eyes met.

"I think I finally have enough courage to tell you that answer now."

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_**Fin**_

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**Final words:** N/A


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